Beloved:
Blessed Father’s Day weekend! Over the years, more than one parishioner has periodically commented: “I don’t remember hearing you speak about your dad like you do your mom.” While definitely I have narrated some aspects of the man, I would say that there is a disproportion. I was in my mid-twenties at the time of his death in 1988; I was almost fifty when my mom died. I am not suggesting that the main influencer is age; that said, I did not have the opportunity to share my priesthood, my vocational life, with Dad, at the earthly level.
It makes sense to acknowledge a certain complexity to our relationship, particularly as I entered my teen years. He was not a tyrant, and I was not a rebel; still, we butted heads on a regular basis. At the time, I would have claimed, “He doesn’t get me!” From this point in life, I realize that neither did I adequately appreciate him: his efforts, his struggles, his (possible) lingering insecurities— his manner of showing love. With gratitude, I now much more fully recognize his integrity of character as well as his “lighter side.” Thank you, Dad…intercede for me with the Father.
Here are some reflections on fatherhood from several Holy Fathers:
St. Joseph was called by God to serve the person and mission of Jesus directly through the exercise of his fatherhood. It is precisely in this way that, as the Church’s Liturgy teaches, he ‘cooperated in the fullness of time in the great mystery of salvation’ and is truly a ‘minister of salvation.’ His fatherhood is expressed concretely ‘in his having made his life a service, a sacrifice to the mystery of the Incarnation and to the redemptive mission connected with it; in having used the legal authority which was his over the Holy Family in order to make a total gift of self, of his life and work; in having turned his human vocation to domestic love into a superhuman oblation of self, an oblation of his heart and all his abilities into love placed at the service of the Messiah growing up in his house.
(Pope Saint John Paul II, Redemptoris Custos 1989, #8)
When fathers refuse to live the lives of their children for them, new and unexpected vistas open up. Every child is the bearer of a unique mystery that can only be brought to light with the help of a father who respects that child’s freedom. A father who realizes that he is most a father and educator at the point when he becomes “useless”, when he sees that his child has become independent and can walk the paths of life unaccompanied. When he becomes like Joseph, who always knew that his child was not his own but had merely been entrusted to his care. In the end, this is what Jesus would have us understand when he says: “Call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven” (Mt 23:9).
(Pope Francis, Apostolic Letter Patris Corde, #7)
God is a Father who never abandons his children, a loving Father who supports, helps, welcomes, pardons and saves with a faithfulness that surpasses by far that of men and women, opening onto dimensions of eternity. “For his steadfast love endures for ever”, as Psalm 136 [135] repeats in every verse, as in a litany, retracing the history of salvation. The love of God the Father never fails, he does not tire of us; it is a love that gives to the end, even to the sacrifice of his Son.
(Pope Benedict XVI, General Audience, 30 January 2013)
Let His Peace be with you,
Fr. Stephen
